Can you declare an anthem to something? Even if it’s something that can be sad and hard? This morning I was watching church and they played this song.

Because I think we should! The song Way Maker by Lee Land. If you haven’t heard it will will attach the song Way Maker

But for these specific lyrics

Even when I don’t see it, You’re working

(Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working) yeah

You never stop, You never stop working

(You never stop, You never stop working) you’re the way maker, yeah

Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper

Light in the darkness, my God

That is who You are, eh, yeah

Light in the darkness, my God

That is… Sing “That is who you are”, ohh

…..Skip in the song a little……

His name is above loneliness

Oh, his name is above disease, his name is above cancer

His name is above every other name, listen, listen

It dosen’t just fit for cancer but honestly anyone struggling with anything!

We all need a pick me up sometimes and this song is great for that!

A lot of the time we don’t see or feel how God is working in our lives and he always is. Then is lists all the different things that God is, which he is!

His name is also above everything else

Jeremiah 33:6 “Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.”

Psalms 30:2 “Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”

Both of these verse show how God is above disease and will always be there when you need him

Have you ever been to a swap meet? Or maybe you have seen the Phineas and Ferb episode where Candace spends the whole day trading things until she gets the item she wants.

Some days cancer treatment feels like a swap meet.

We want our kids to survive cancer so lets trade their hearing, vision, motor function and who knows what else as a side effects of the drugs.

Side effects that don’t stop when you are done with that drug. I learned today that one of the drugs Hudson is finished with will continue to take a hit to his hearing for at least 2 years, maybe even a slow decline his whole life.

All of which is incredibly unfair and heart breaking to think about.

However God never promised an easy or fair life but that he would use all things together to work for our good. Even if we can’t see the good (thank you Nicole for your words ☺️)

“I also saw other things in this life that were not fair. The fastest runner does not always win the race; the strongest soldier does not always win the battle; wise people don’t always get the food; smart people don’t always get the wealth; educated people don’t always get the praise they deserve. When the time comes, bad things can happen to anyone!”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9:11‬ ‭ERV‬‬

This is not a translation I usually use but easiest to understand for this verse.

It talks about how just because you are something doesn’t mean you get something because of it and how bad things happen to anyone and at anytime

You know growing up i heard people say all the time “sticks and stones my break my bones but words can never hurt me”

However more often than not Words are the thing that hurts us the most, are the thing that sticks with us more than anything else.

Today Hudson and I went to Target, we needed out of the apartment and needed food.

Not once, not twice but three times I heard someone say “try to stay away from them, you might catch what he has”

I have heard people tell me to make him wear a hat, that it was vaccines I gave him that caused his cancer, that its my fault for having no prenatal care, there are so many things I have been told, or things i hear people say when we walk by.

How can words never hurt when people judge my son just because of how he looks? Or judge me because of him?

And I would bet money on the fact I am not they only one who has been told these things

Words hold so much weight, words are how we communicate so of course they would hurt.

Sometimes our words hurt and we don’t even know they do.

James 3:9 says “with the younger we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”

God gives us free choice and of course with that we have our own thoughts.

No one is innocent, we all have said things we regret, but as a Christian we need watch our words and be there for those who have been upset because of our words.

One of the “Landmarks” at St.Jude is the ABC wall, The ABC’s of cancer. Every letter has a different word, different handwriting, and different perspectives.

I see this wall at least once a day and some days several times a day. But for some reason today “W” stood out to me.

W

We are chemo Warriors

We are chemo Warriors bearing arms with pride

We don’t care about losing our hair

We solider on and fight through it

We can’t deny that sometimes we cry

But We are God’s Warriors!

That is what is written on the W sign.

God gives these kids so much strength, it also got me thinking about the armor of God.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God…” Ephesians 6:13-18

In Summary there are 6 pieces of Armor

Belt of truth, Breastplate of righteousness, Shoes of preparation, Shield of faith, Helmet of Salvation, and the Sword of the spirit.

This set of armor helps us all in our spiritual walks of faith, helps us be Warriors for God.

However it doesn’t protect these kids or anyone for that matter from illness and emotions.

And still these kids fight a fight we can’t even think of fighting, yet they still feel they are doing exactly what God has planned for them, and they fight off the devil EVERYDAY!

Today is June 5th2022, it is Hudson’s birthday, it’s an anniversary of the scariest day of my life, and it’s 200 days since Hudson was diagnosed with cancer.

Today is hard for so many reasons

1)Hudson is spending this birthday in the hospital, just like every other holiday since Halloween. That feels life forever ago.

2)two years ago today Hudson was born Which was the scariest day of my life. If you didn’t I gavebirth to Hudson without knowing I was pregnant, in the hospital hallway during a pandemic. Yes I could make a good TLC episode 🤣

3) 200 days Hudson has been fighting brain cancer, 200 day s he has been poked, scanned, 9 surgeries,6 rounds of treatment which is 30 days of getting chemo, and probably 42 – 84 days of low blood counts. That is a lot for 1 kid.

Today is also a senseof accomplishment for all we have been through. How much he has overcomes

John 16:33 says I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

All of us have to overcome so many things in this world for the world is hard but we can have peace knowing God is with us through it all

Something I have done with both my kids is take a “night before” picture when I put them to bed before their birthday. Never in a million years did I think tonight’s picture would be in a hospital room.

I would have dreamed of putting either of my children to bed for the birthday in a hospital.

A year ago I would have thought it would be the same as every other night. Rocking in our chair and laying him in his crib.

It’s funny how pictures can show things so differently over time.

Like also a year ago my first Brain cancer awareness shirt came in the mail. I ordered it because it had the sweetest girls name on it who had passed away a few months before.

I wore that shirt to Hudson’s 1st birthday party. Who would have thought looked back at that picture of me now that it would look like a prediction of the future.

When I think back to those pictures I also think about the past year, and how it’s hard to see pictures of some of my friends kids on Facebook

I see kids who walk, talk, eat and learning all the new things. Then I end up thinking about what Hudson would be like if this year hadn’t happened like it did.

But it Nehemiah 8:10 it says “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Hudson is special In his own way, he will do amazing things in his own time. None of which would be possible without this last year.

I am learning to not grieve over what is lost but to rejoice in what we are gaining.

Happy last night of being 1 Hudson.

You will do great things

Between the main building and the gift shop there is s little garden and in the concrete there is as Multiy color dear heart that says the word Hope

Sometimes hope can be hard to come by, many of us have different stories depending on diagnoses, for me when I got here I was under the impression Hudson had little hope. Thankfully the doctors here dion’t think that.

Everyday we hope for different things, anything fromlab work to scan results. pretty much everything here comes from Hope. I know some of the worst and best news is given here. But that also can make the hope for others news just as powerful as our own.

One of the St.Jude patient quotes is by a kid named Melanie and she says “if you don’t have hope, you really don’t have anything”

Romans 15:13 says May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Having hope is huge in our faith as well as in life, God helps feed our hope. Especially that one day Jesus will Return.

Did you know it takes a firefly 3.5 minutes to stop goin after it hits. Car windshield?

Yes I timed it, yes I was bored driving back to Memphis and yes my dad made fun of me for it 🙂

However while timing this firefly on my drove at 8 or so at night it also got me thinking about a few things.

1) the Children’s song this little light of mine

And

2) how can my light shine after me?

For the first one the song talks about letting out light shine, not hiding in a bush and not letting satan blow it out

The second one is a little more in depth, you see the firefly obviously died when it hit my car windshield but his light still was glowing. Yes for another 3.5 minutes 🙂

Us as believers can leave an impact on those around us even when we aren’t there. However this doesn’t mean it has to be when you pass on, thought i think all of us can name people who have passed that still leave a last impact on our lives. Family, friends, pastors, maybe even for you someone famous.

But people you come in in contact with everyday can leave an impact on you and you can leave one on them, and i know for myself i can name those people too. past teachers, coaches, Sunday school leaders, youth pastors, employers and even family and friend.

Their light continues to glow even when they aren’t around, whether its a Sunday school lesson that sticks with you. Ms.Marie;), something you think your grandparent would say or that support person that helped you make a big impact in your community.

If people can make that big of a difference to me, why can’t i to someone else?

The Bible says in Matthew 5:16 “in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven.”

It doesn’t say “hope you made an impact after you die” it say let your light shine, you glorify the kingdom, Right now, not later!

Be like a firefly 🙂

Today is Penelopi’s 3rd birthday and I bought her very own play house. I remember having one as a kid and I loved it. It’s was used for so many different things.

As I am building it though I was using a screwdriver since I couldn’t find a power drill. My arms got so sore. It go me thinking. This is a small house. Imagine Jospeh building houses in Bible times. He had to be exhausted by the end of the day.

No matter what thought he kept going.

I also thought about my papa who was a carpenter as long as I knew. Even when he physically couldn’t do it himself anymore he always wanted to. It made him happy. I have been told every semester my aunts and mom were in college he built and sold a house.

But he never seemed to give up.

No matter what people are made to keep going. When your arms are sore, you are emotional drained or your body can’t do it anymore. People still have a drive to keep going.

Because the reward is so much sweeter. Just like Penelopi’s face when the play house was done.

When it’s finally out time we will be called home and Heaven is the sweet reward. Even better than my birthday girls face.

Matthew 5:12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you

As I am leaving target house today that family in the car parked by mine is writing “no more chemo” and “going home” on there car.

I yelled across the parking lot “that what you wanna see!” And the mama said amen

As I am putting Hudson in the car the dad come up to me and hands me 2 of the paint markers and say “I believe In the power of God that you will need these next” then the mama told me “we are all in this together”

That put a huge smile on my face and made me tear up. Even in there moment they made a choice to think of Hudson treatment.

I now have the paint markers sitting in the front seat of my car. And I will try to leave them there so I can think about that family and think about the day we get to write in our car.

“This is what the Lord,
the God of your father
David, says: ‘I have heard
your prayer and seen your
tears; I will heal you” 2 Kings 20:5

He hears our prayers and sees all of us. In his time and in his way all of these kids will be healed. On this earth or in heaven. All of the kids will be healed and win in each of their own ways 💛🎗