Every year (minus 2020 due to covid) my church does baby dedications on Mother’s Day. Since they didn’t do it in 2020 i had the opportunity to dedicate Penelopi and Hudson on the same day. Which happens to be a year ago today

Hudson is inpatient this weekend so as I am watching Pastor Rich dedicated our two newest little ones I got to thinking about the past year.

IF someone would have told m on Mother’s Day last year that i would be where I am today I am not sure I would have believed them. Hudson is living proof of a loving God.

Even with everything that has happened God has pulled us through. I got to thinking of a song today with my mom , the song is by Rodney Atkins and the chorus says

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

When we dedicate our children when dedicate them to a life with the Lord and no matter what us as parents and as a church family are there to support them in whatever means necessary. To me that means even running through hell with them if need be!

I am completely ok with where I am on Mother’s Day today, but I’m not sue I ever will be. I am however ok with living a life for the lord however possible, no matter how many times my feet get burned from runnin through hell.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there!

While I was home a few days last week I chose to do things that gave me comfort. I ate Little Tokyo (had really been missing it), spent 2 days with Penelopi, lunch with family and went to church

I knew before we ever made the trip home I knew I wanted to go to church. I felt I needed to, no real reason over than I needed it. I expected to have lots of people come up and talk to me, just because they have been my home for almost 21 years. However once again they blew me away. At the end of the second service they all came up and laid hands on me, prayed with me and showed a mass amount of love.

In those moments I felt extreme comfort and almost like the week of what was to come lifted a little off my shoulders and handing it to overs to help me carry it.

Romans 1:12 says “that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine”

God says we are encouraged by each other’s faith and others encouraged by faith.

We must help others and encourage others.

In my opinion Marshfield First baptist is a great place for that 🙂

At this point I feel like most of you are getting to know me pretty well. So I assume it’s safe to say I get stressed, shocker right 🤣

However I try to handle it very well but sometimes I just get pushed over the top. Today I feel was one of those days.

After he got his line infection on Easter and was discharged Infectious disease (ID) told me he was in Non-contact isolation , then come to find out no he is a contact precaution. So his nurse, nurse practitioner and I all worked together following ID’s instructions to have him cleared before going back to Missouri, which was 2 negative blood test. No problem not hard.

Flash forward to today Hudson is STILL in isolation and has to have 2 more test this time poop test and each have to be negative and a week apart. Which means at least another week in isolation.

I was mad, frustrated, stressed, confused. So many question and emotions it pretty much pushed me over the top of my stress meter.

My mom always told me when I am having a bad day to think of 5 happys. Not long after them telling me about the isolation crap Hudson STOOD ON HIS OWN! And for 5 MINUTES I didn’t make it past that happy before feeling better.

I don’t even know the last time he was able to do that.

God works in so many mysterious ways and sometimes it might just surprise you with what he is capable of doing.

It’s almost funny that he has a way of changing our emotions and situations almost in a snap of his fingers.

Habakkuk 1:5 says “Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told”

He knows we would never believe some if not all of the things he is capable of doing and he has a reason for everything.

I was listening to a song today that I have always enjoyed but realized feels a lot like our town of Marshfield

The song is called small town prayer by Raelynn, I will add a like for those that haven’t heard it. https://youtu.be/aYaJ50TXpIM

The ending of the song goes like this

I ain’t sayin’ He ain’t listenin’ (yes, He’s listenin’)
To every single one He gets (one He gets)
All I know is where I’m from
There’s somethin’ in that amen

I have seen the power of prayer that a small town has, how we can gather together to pray for who needs it most.

Sometimes it almost feels like we have a direct line with our prayers.

Psalm 32:6 says “Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters they shall not reach him”

God wants us to always bring prayers to him and gather together with others and pray together

Continue to gather together with prayers!

Tonight I found a journal that was sent to me days after Hudson was born. Inside is a letter from a very important person in my life and in the first few pages song lyrics and quotes that helped her.

As I am re reading this letter tonight this is what stands out to me. She wrote “Adisyn, You are more than a teen mom. You have the power to make your life more than that girl who had 2 babies with 2 different dads in high school”

She was right, I am more than just the girl with 2 kids with 2 different dads. Or even the girl that one of those dads disappeared. I am more than my mistakes and past choices. It has taken me a long time to realize this but I am starting to.

Got has been prepping and preparing me for this moment in my life for as long as I can remember.

He gave me a life loving friend that survived childhood cancer

He gave me a cousin who one in his own way and a little girl that changed my outlook with her love for cows 🐮

He gave me a heart and a passion for these kids and then when I was ready he gave me my miracle baby to show me just how much I can handle

I over hear my mom the other day tell another adult that she has watch me change over these past 6 months and I believe I have changed to and I hope for the better

I have became so much stringer in my faith and the confidence to share my faith and experience with SOOOO many other people, I feel I have became a stronger mother and hopefully even some patience

Isaiah 43: 18-19a says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing new things!”

Like I said it has taken me a long time to realize I am more than my past, I am changing and growing

Watch me Bloom 🌺

Thank you to the author of the letter. She hopefully knows who she is 🙂

For those of you that know me know that Flamingos are one of my favorite animals but I learned something new about them today.

Both male and female flamingos have the ability to loose their pink color when caring for their chicks

Because it is such an intense process. Most of their time, food and energy goes to their chicks

But eventually they get it back

It also should be impossible for them to stand on one leg due to their body shape and the size of their legs

But they can do it anyways

God tells us he will never give us more than we can handle

We might loose are color, feel like it is impossible at times but we will not crumble under the weight of it all and we will not break

We WILL get our pink back 🦩

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

This was written by another cancer mom but I wanted to share

Hello my name is cancer

I’ve come to make your life a disaster

I called you on the phone to let you know I’m pulling you away from your home!

I’m going to bring you to your knees and only give you what you need.

I’ve come to show you unbelievable trouble

And through the devastating rubble you’ll not be able function or think because this call will make your heart sink!

I’m going to tear your body and soul down

And make you scared and your once smile is now a permanent frown.

Once you choke down this call then

You start scrambling and all you do is hit a wall!

Spinning in circles as to what to do

You get a call from St Jude

These hero’s will hold you tight

And together you will fight

I’m going to come and linger in your body

And hide

But the st jude drs and nurses will be right by your side

Frail and weak your body will be

And I will be all you’ll see.

Life will change and for some forever

And may not end a happily ever after

But for others you will kick my butt and wipe me away

Because I came to show you how strong you are and together you will fight every day!

St jude is a place where miracles can happen

The love is there with arms wide open

You’ll meet new friends that together you will cry and share

You’ll Lean on them because you know they care.

Your life will be changed forever but stay strong

Because you can beat me with the team at st jude by your side

They will find me even if I hide

Love comfort and compassion is all you’ll seek

But be strong and don’t be weak

I’m here to show you how strong you are

You’ll have a lifetime scar

But you got this, always remember that

Never forget things happen for a reason

And this hopefully will just be a season

Believe and pray

st jude will take me away!

I am a beast but can be fought

Soon you’ll know your strength is all you got!

Take each day as another day down

to beat me that frown will turn upside down!

Then go about your life and never take anything for granted

Because I can always return

Life is precious you will learn

A verse that goes great with this is Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

Another great verse is Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.

No matter what a life throws at you, there is always something God has placed to help you through it

For me, it is St.Jude

Momcologist should be a degree with the amount of information we learn. Not just our kids diagnoses, but their treatment plan, your friends diagnoses, and just fast facts.

It’s a constant learning process, just today I have learned how to give meds and take care of a whole new line Hudson has.

I can also tell you all the fast facts about childhood cancer and brain cancer. And as we get ready to enter May and you follow me on Facebook you will learn all of them too.

However God wants us to always be learning about him too. I have start this new study about women in the Bible. I had no idea that there were 2 midwife’s named Shiphrah and Puah, and that they disobeyed the government by not killing the baby boys. All we hear about is Moses.

There is always new things ti learn in the Bible. You just have to open it and read. Even the stories you think you know you can always learn from.

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart”

Just like is school you study different books you should dive in and learn the Bible just the same way.

Just one of the many ways to grow in faith 😊

If you have ever been to a Children’s hospital you have seen the parents with empty strollers or wagons.

Those mamas in the cafeteria pushing an empty wagon or stroller . They are apart from their babies for any number of reason.

Their babies are getting scans, having surgery, and receiving treatments. Maybe it was something scheduled, maybe it was something emergent.

Those parents feel slightly at peace or slightly on edge…or anywhere in between.

You never know what walk someone is walking. That reminds me of a video I have seen several times. I will add the link but in short is walks you around a hospital showing you all the different feelings of people.

The heart of compassion

Jesus said in Matthew 22:39 “And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

He said this was the second greatest commandment. No matter where we are in life we need to love each other. You never know how much that could mean to someone.

Have you ever wondered why today is called Good Friday? over 2,000 years ago it was the worst day for Mary, Jesus’s Mother, the displaces, Jesus’s followers, and even Jesus himself.

On this day over 2,000 years ago, Jesus received 39 stripes because 40 was known to kill a man. They wanted him alive.

They held handfuls of his beard, and hair and pulled them out by the roots. They wanted him alive.

They kicked, punched, and spit on him for hours. Until there wasn’t a single spot on his body not covered in blood. They wanted him alive.

They shoved a crown of thorns down on his head so harshly it stuck in his skin. They wanted him alive.

After hours of being beaten, mocked, whipped, flogged, and tortured they made him walk with a cross. They made him carry it. A rough piece of wood with splinters digging into fresh wounds. They wanted him alive.

Crucifixion was historically one of the cruelest most tortured deaths a human could face. Hours upon hours of torture. Torture most of us can not mentally think of because the cruelty isn’t normal. It isn’t something our minds can comprehend.

The reason we call it a Good day is because 3 days later Jesus defeated Death, Hell, and OUR sins and he is alive today.

The situation that seemed hopeless and absolutely awful God turned for Good Because that is the kind of God we serve.

He takes things that are meant to harm us and things that seem completely out of our control and he somehow turns it all for Good.

If today can be called Good Friday then whatever your situation is can also be turned into Good!

God can do amazing things in a short amount of time. He has proven to us that the whole world can change direction in just as little as 3 days. Look at Hudson, 1 week after surgery he was already making huge strides.

He also doesn’t make us carry our days alone.

He knew in order to have a Sunday you have to have a Friday. He knew in order to have joy you have to carry your cross. He felt everything that day. He felt how your heart broke wide open when you had to watch your baby die. He felt how heavy your life was when you were staring down the barrel of a gun wondering if the man you called husband was going to shoot you. He carried the weight of the burden you have felt since your spouse died and life just doesn’t seem right since. On that cross, he held the rapist and murderers, the sinner and the saint. He leveled every playing field and said ALL of you are worth it. He knew he had to carry the cross. He never promised the cross you carry in this life would not be heavy. His wasn’t. His promise is that Sunday is coming.

No matter how heavy Friday is. Financially, emotionally, mentally, or physically. Friday is heavy. That cross is weighing you down and you are about to crumble under its weight.

His promise was simply this. He won’t make you carry it alone.

What kind of king would step down from his throne for this?

Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God did. For you.

He did every bit of it for you and me.

Oh yes, it is heavy. So heavy sometimes you do not think you can take one more step.

He will never make you do this alone! He is always here!

God can change your day to Good!

Good Friday is a long passage but I will leave the reference

Mark 15:21–41