I hate storms, I never have liked them and they always seem to come at the worst time. I remember when I was pregnant with Miss P the week she was born we had a tornado warning, then a couple weeks ago and then again today. 

However I remember my mom saying the best time to take pictures is right after a storm. That sky is always the prettiest, the lighting is the best just makes for the perfect picture. 

I would have to agree that’s probably the same way in life. You can always see clearest right after storm. No matter what that Storm might be.

I’m sure Noah felt the same way to after the flood stoped and the rainbow came.

I’m sure the disciples felt that way after Jesus appeared to them after he rose again.

God always has a plan for us. But sometimes it takes going through the storm in order to see the beauty. Just like a rainbow 🌈

Genesis 9:15-16 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

On Facebook today someone shared a post about a tattoo and the meaning behind it. The tattoo said “Judas Ate Too” but the meaning behind it is what got me thinking

On the night before Jesus’s death we all know the disciples gathered for the last supper. The ate, talked, Jesus washed their feet and they prayed.

Jesus fed Judas. Jesus washed his feet. Jesus prayed for Judas.

Even with that would come in the hours after. Jesus showed him unconditional love.

A love that would feed the mouth that deceived you. A love that would wash the treasonous feet of the traitor. A love that could forgive betrayals.

Jesus shows us this same love everyday, in everything we do. We sin every day, we all stumble and fall short. Even on the days the it feels like he is miles and miles away from us.

We are Judas.

And Jesus still loves us. Unconditionally

There are so many versus in the Bible that prove this.

When I was reading different versus this is the one the stuck out to me.

“But you, my Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy; you are very patient and full of faithful love.” Psalm 86:15

This verse talks about how he is patient and full of compassion when it comes toward us.

We are Judas. Yet we are still fed

As Mothers we celebrate all the First. First Smile, First Easter,Christmas Birthday and even First day of School or ____ Grade

However sometimes we need to celebrate the lasts, especially for me and other Momcologists.

Today on Palm Sunday he is getting his last dose of a chemotherapy drug called Cisplatin. Last week he got his Last does of high dose methotrexate. Both of these drugs are some of the hardest Chemotherapy medicine a child can get. And Hudson is done with them.

Some of the lasts in our life need to be celebrated. Even though as moms we focus on our kids Firsts.

Sometimes the littles things make the biggest difference. Which is the same as our faith.

Matthew 17:20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

The smallest lasts make the biggest difference in life. From the Last day of Preschool-Senior year. To the last dose of chemo.

All are worth being celebrated 🎉🎗

Since being here I have failed at laundry pretty much every time I have tried to do laundry. Rickie has had to rescue us with clean blankets

Sometimes it won’t dry, sometimes it doesn’t come clean in the wash, 2 times now the laundry room had flooded while my clothes are in the dryer. I just seem to have the worst luck with laundry.

I have decide a new life goal is to wait her marry rich or have enough money to pay someone else to do my laundry 😂

Now the Bible doesn’t tell me how to work and washer and dryer. (Maybe I need to learn it over again 😂)

However it does talk about when things go wrong. Which believe me Seems to happen a lot.

Isaiah 41:10 says Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Which also happens to be the Bible verse on Hudson’s bracelets and coincidentally the verse on the wall outside of the neruo oncology clinic 💛🎗

No matter what happens God is always with us. Even when the laundry room floods or our clothes don’t dry 😂

For those that know me you know that my heart has always had tug toward St.Jude. From giving me a longtime friend that is a cancer survivor, a cousin Landon who won his fight in his own way, my nana whose heart was for these kids, and Miss Alyson who really touched my heart in a huge way.

I have always studied, researched St. Jude. This has always felt like the place for me to have a career. I have known for a while now that this has all been for a reason, like prep work for a bigger picture.

Obviously he was preparing me to a Momcologist, but was that all it was for? Or is this still what I am meant to do with my life?

A few weeks ago Pastor Rich talked about getting into Missions. That we are called to Missions. For right now this is my mission field, I will use it to the best of my ability.

I have had any conversations with other moms about our paths with faith. It’s always great to see into other believers eyes. As well as this blog.

Even with all of this I know the question was that all the prep work was for? Or is this still what I am meant to do with my life?

It’s all in Gods timing. For now. This is my mission field.

Matthew 28:19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

2 Peter 3:8-9 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Today it was nice outside so between appointments Hudson and I walked around campus. Listening to my Christian pick me up playlist.

As I was walking today I was looking at all the bricks on the sidewalk and all the building thinking about the 1,000s if not millions of people that had been here in the last 60 years.

As I am walking and thinking I felt this powerful pull of peace and safety. Almost like there was a barrier around the campus. Protecting it.

All I can think is God is at work here.

I never thought that safety was something I should be feeling. We prayer for peace, healing, comfort but you don’t ever here if someone praying for safety unless they are in danger or harms way.

Matthew 21:22 “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Whoever prayed for safety today. Thank you 😊

Something nobody told me before coming to St.Jude is that you will gain a whole new family. Last week when my daughter went back home I didn’t want to be alone, another mom I had been talking to online her daughter was in scans. So she let me cry and have lunch with me.

Another Mom always talks over treatment with me since her daughter has a different cancer but same chemo treatments. It always helps to know what to expect.

Another Mom who is also from brought me a little cloth when I first got here and It is sits in my backpack and goes everywhere with us.

And sometimes I am the shoulder to lean on, to vent to. to talk with. And that Is perfectly fine with me!

No matter how I am feeling or what I need, there is always another Mom or Dad that is willing to help or listen. Also I am always willing to be there for them.

I don’t think Hudson and I could get through this period of life without our new family. and I know there are so many others that feel the same way

I heard a mom tell another the other day “You will have life long sisters”

and I believe that is true 🙂

God says we are all brothers and sister in Christ, and we are all from different walks of life. But I am glad that there are others on the same path and we can lean on each other.

“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” Mark 3:35

I have always loved Memphis and St.Jude. To the point this is where I have always wanted to work. You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you the same thing, But I never realized tell living here right now how much you can miss out on back home.

Tonight is my brothers first prom! I never in a million years though I would miss seeing him go to prom. But sadly I have. Tucker has always been there for me, I always remember him at all my high school dances when I was getting ready. I did however pick him out a suit jacket here in Memphis 😉

Genesis 31:49 “And Mizpah, for he said, “The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight.”

I Know the love between My brother and I stretchers the distance we are apart, but so does the love of God. No matter where we are, we are always connected and there for each other.

Tucker, Be the dancing king and look as good as Elvis! Have fun 🙂

In the summer between my sophomore and junior year my nana passed away from breast cancer. Ever since then any pink in the sky I believe to be her looking down on me. Little reminders from her that she is still supporting me.

St.Jude does inpatient admissions at 8pm so most the time its either dark or we get to see the sun set. Driving to the hospital to start Round 4 chemo the sunset was Light Yellow and Pink.

This is the last of this chemo protocol and I know that was Nana telling me there was no need to worry, she was watching out for us.

Nana was also a HUGE supporter of St.Jude so I am sure she is sending protection

My family has said several times she is shaking her finger at God for this whole chapter in life. And if you knew her I am sure you would agree.

“There will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth dismay among nations, in perplexity at the roaring of the sea and the waves, Luke 21:25

Every where you look in your everyday life I am sure you can find signs from God and from heaven

I have had some many people start or end a question with “if this offends you, you don’t have to answer” when they ask me something about Hudson. Like so many other kids here Hudson is unique and special, and with that come stares, questions or even in some cases judgment.

The first time Hudson and I went to the zoo I had to stop and give him medicine, which of course goes through his G-Tube. A little boy walking by turned to his mom and goes “Mama what exhibit is that?” And point to Hudson and I. His mom starts frantically apologizing to me and telling her son you can’t ask people those things. I turned to the little boy and explained what I was doing and that Hudson just eats different than me and him. Then I told his mama it’s ok to ask questions. It helps them to learn.

So Please, ask questions!! Don’t just stare and judge! It’s ok to ask questions and be curious! Even as adults it’s OKAY!

Myself along with other mamas don’t mind to answer the questions. It helps you and others to learn. As for myself I like to answer your questions. That means awareness is being brought to Hudson and his cancer.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

The kingdom of Heaven is open to all children

We all remember the Sunday school song “Jesus loves the little children”

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

I understand why the mom was so upset with her little boy asking about Hudson. Many of us, myself included were taught not to point, stare or ask when people are different than others. But honestly all of us have different and unique things about us. Just some people it’s visible and others it isn’t.

Jesus loves us all just the way we are.

So please, ask the questions!